It seems to me that during the tough times,
You can’t lean on just anybody.
Most people don’t know what to say,
None of us wants to be THAT person who says the wrong thing
During the tough times,
Find the friend who can see the hell you’re in and
Can descend into it with you
Find the friend who can walk down from her mountain into your dusty valley of tears
And is able to sit besides you as you lay dazed, covered in the dust and the ashes of
Your dashed dreams and burnt expectations.
They know that it’s not about saying the right thing, but about the next best thing you can do.
They’re able to say:
“Friend, when times are tough, we do not give up. We put our big girl panties on.
Friend, it’s time to put ours on,
And this is what it looks like when we have our big panties on. This is how we hold ourselves,
treat ourselves, talk to ourselves.
This is what we do with them on and this is where we find the courage when our heart lacks it.”
They get on their knees with you, then make a list of everything you need to do to get out of that hole.
And then, they stand next to you while you fumble your way forward.
They’re the ones to gently say over and over again until you can say it to yourself:
“It’s okay. Try again.”
They check up on you even you paste the fake smile on, throw on the “happy” emoticons and repeat your stock answer
“Everything is fine.”
A look from them lets you know that they don’t buy it one bit.
“It’s okay not to be okay right now”, they keep repeating.
Find the friend who will hold you silently while you feel like you’re coming apart,
The one who treats your emotions and vulnerability moments as sacred moments
The one who helps you focus on today and what you can do right at this moment.
The thing is, sometimes
That friend has to be YOU.